There are times when I get embarrassed by my fellow countrymen.

August 30, 2013

I was at a work conference at the weekend. In it they ran a bunch of sessions aimed at making you a better teacher in the “Chinese Environment.” A lot of it’s common sense, but I go and “give it some” at those sessions because “Da Management” is always watching you, it’s nice to have an idea what works in other classrooms, and what they’re looking for when they come into yours.

Anyhow, they had this Chinese teacher come to one of our sessions. Now the Chinese in general aren’t naturally forthright, and this guy looked about 12 and a half. In short you could tell he’d be a wallflower if you didn’t involve him. Yet I watched group after group pretty much ignore the guy, and that irritated me. I mean he wasn’t prefect, but they could have done better.

To make matters worse, they have quality control managers working at my company. They pretty much assess teacher quality, and the husband of one of these quality controls was in this session. The manager has always impressed me as someone who knew her stuff, but this guy couldn’t have made any more effort NOT to involve the guy if he tried.

There are times when I can’t understand myself.

August 29, 2013

I was looking at my results today, and there’s a bunch of reasons I should be proud. More that 50% of my kids got an A or better. I got more A*s at A Level than I’ve got in my career to this point. More kids got A* to B than I’ve ever got before.  85% of the kids I taught got A* to B at AS. The figure rises to 93% for iGCSE. In terms of A*-B scores, I did 33% better than my closest rival at PAL. At A2, I was 1.5 grades better, on average, than my nearest rival.

Can somebody tell my why I’m still ticked about these results, telling myself I need to do better next year?

GaoKao

June 25, 2013

I’ve said earlier that the GaoKao is scary. It’s the exams that assess entry into Chinese universities, and the pressure on kids is huge. Areas round school go into police cordoned lock-down,  with cellphone masts being cut, and parents sending “Do well or die” vibes over the school walls.

Anyhow, the kids got their results Monday. I’m assuming that if my province is anything like what I expect, 80,000 – 100,000 here kids took the exam this year, and the school in which my centre is based got 5 of the 10 best marks in the province. That has to be remarkable doesn’t it? I mean they didn’t have 1 kid in the top 0.01% of students provincially, but 5. And that’s not a particularly good year, by all accounts they get between 5 and 7 of the to 10 every year.

I wish I could say that my students are just as talented, but I can’t. Some are clever, but they aren’t that clever. Our redeeming feature isn’t the great number of A* grades we get. It’s that we get the kids to think. The GaoKao tests how much information the students can learn by rote. We teach them the usefulness and importance of thinking. GaoKao kids can’t give you a good “Why’s that important?” answer for toffee. And that’s why I’ll always argue our kids are better than the GaoKao nerd herd. This is the 21st Century. Since when has memorisation been the best way to prepare kids in today’s environment. I mean these bright GaoKao kids can recite the textbook, but our kids will become leaders. Not because they’re cleverer, but because we’ve got them intellectually close to GaoKao kids, and given them the guts to “step up” in an argument.

On the subject of Chinese Staffing…….

June 24, 2013

Trust me when I say that when the Chinese get efficient, they’ll be scary. I say this not because of all the paperwork you have to fill in here. It’s horrendous, trust me on that, it’s still more to do with staffing.

I hopped in a car-cum-minicab recently to get into town, and he stopped off at a petrol station on the way. I won’t say it’s inefficient because they had people to fill your car working on the forecourt (I remember New Jersey having the same thing at one stage). I will say they’re inefficient though for the number they had.

This was your little 8 pump forecourt, and they had 4 fillers taking money off customers. There’s no two ways about it. That HAS to be inefficient.

Staffing In China

June 11, 2013

In the West, you hear all this stuff about China being a communist society that part of you starts to think that there must be a degree of egalitarianism here. It isn’t. I’ve been here approaching 3 years now, and it isn’t really. It might have been in the past, but I suspect that people here are becoming more self centred.

One of the issues that you do see here (which might tie into equality) is over-staffing. As an example, there are “bike parkers.” These people don’t park your mopeds for you. They aren’t valets. They’re thereto tell you where to park your scooters. At one stage last week there were 7 outside the 2 major supermarkets in the area. I kid you not, and their main job is to say where to part you bike. Even if you assume we need these people(and I suspect we don’t, even if the typical Chinese driver’s crazy), seven is too much. They needed two at the outside if they’re honest.

I wish I could say that this staffing issue was an equality issue (i.e. “Let’s give people jobs”), but it’s not. I think it’s more to do with the fact that people are seen as somewhere between cheaper and more expendable than machines, and that sort of depresses me.

GaoKao always impresses me as being surreal.

June 5, 2013

The GaoKao is the Chinese university entrance examination. It’s a really intense experience for any kid who has any chance of doing (even remotely) well academically.

Put simply, the students do exams in Chinese, a foreign language (usually English it seems), Maths, Chemistry, Physics, and History over a 2 day period. This year it’s on Thursday 6th and Friday 7th of June, and the pressure on the kids is huge. The whole “One Child ” policy, combined with the fact that their lives won’t be that great if they don’t do well means they’re aware of the potential downside if they fail.

Our school is a host school for the GaoKao. This means that the students run round like crazy, trying to get the school in ship shape. The process is amusing to foreigners, because Chinese classrooms are a pigsty from about the third day of the year. The kids seem unwilling to use their lockers (the result is desks piled high with books -their heads poking up from behind them), and always smell of takeaways. In short, they’re a pigsty, and Western teachers hate how their Chinese counterparts let the kids treat the classroom. We run a constant running battle out make our rooms better (but after 9 years of “anything goes” it’s hard).

The preparation process involves the students removing every scrap of evidence that the room is a classroom (save the blackboards), nailing 2 nails into the wall (presumably for a clock, but I’m not sure, and I’m not sure why they have to do that every year), making the floors spotless, and having a man come round to check if the desks and chairs are stable, and are exactly 80cm apart (they seem to make rulers that length especially for GaoKao), and 20cm from the wall.

What gets my goat about that is if there’s even the slightest issue, the chair or desk is replaced. I wouldn’t mind but our parents pay 36x more than the parents of the “main school” kids (yes 36x more), and yet you can guarantee that our stuff won’t work, and trying to get it replaced requires a stubbornness about things that boarders on dogmatism.

On the day of the exam itself, the kids and staff are turfed out (noone’s allowed on site), the police block access to the road, cellphone masts are turned off (to prevent cheating) and parents congregate in areas round the school sending “Do well or you die” vibes to their children.

So all in all, the experience is strange, and the pressure intense. We had a child commit suicide our first year here, because of the pressure placed on him from pretty much everyone and his dog.

I’m disappointed by The Times.

May 28, 2013

There. I’ve said it. I’m disappointed by The Times. It’s their coverage recent murder of the British army soldier in Woolwich that’s getting me upset. I mean I know it’s news, and so has to be reported, but does the newspaper have to publish a video the murderer’s explanation while he’s standing there with his hands covered in his victim’s blood? Did ITV? Did anyone? And yet The Times, a newspaper that prides itself on its investigative journalism did just that.

Can someone explain to me why that’s acceptable? Or right? Report the facts. Have the video as evidence to support your reports, but no one, I repeat no one, should have been allowed to see that video, unless they had do. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Don’t do something, just because you can.

One of the more surreal things happened to me over the weekend

May 13, 2013

I was coming back from Shanghai, and caught a cab home from the station. Zhenhai is pretty much a Ningbo outer suburb, which means the cab drivers are iffy about getting a fare back or really don’t know where it is.

When trying to establish where I want to go the coversation invariable runs like this…..

“Zhenhai” (me)

“Zhunhai” (Driver)

“Yes Zhenhai” (me)

“Zhunhai”

“Zhunhai”

“Zhunhai”

Anyhow if I get stressed about not being understood in Chinese, I start breaking into Polish. It’s usually just stuff Tak Nie (yes or no) or Naprawde (really), but on this trip I was halfway through “Prawo Lewo Pawo Tunel Prawo” (Right left right tunnel right) that I realised I was doing it, and that’s not happened in years.

This brou-ha-ha about Abercrombie and Fitch

May 12, 2013

There’s this storm in a teacup thing going on in America at the moment over comments made by the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch where he says his company tries and sells his overpriced clothing to the “cool kids” at school (so long as they’re so thin as to get blown over by anything stronger than a mild breeze).

In response I’ve seems people comment that he’s being cruel for not selling his clothes in “XL Sizes”, that he’s never had kids who’ve been bullied at school, that he’s “heartless”, and a bunch of other things that the speakers feel about him that cover much the same ground.

To a degree I can see why the complainants are upset. No one wants to feel as if they’re on the “outside” or whatever. But equally why should the company cater to the fat, ugly, or downright weird if they don’t want to? If you want to raise a child who is so craven in their need to belong that they buy jeans for $150, then be my guest, but I don’t know I’m sure that’s something you should be proud of.

Funny comments I got at interview

April 27, 2013

Today was entrance examination day at my school. The school gets a few hundred applicants, they do a couple of papers in the morning, followed by an interview in the afternoons. I’ve just come back from the interviews. Here are my favourite comments I got back:

Q) Pick a number between 1 and 5…….?

A) 34

Q) Pick a number between 1 and 5…….?

A) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Q) Choose a number between 1 and 5…….?

A) 7

Q) Excluding China, which is your favourite country?

A) China

Q) Which is your favourite country?

A) Which country are you from?

Q) What is the longest journey you’ve ever taken?

A) Three Days.

Q) Where did you go?

A) Beijing

Q) Did you go by train or car?

A) No we flew

Q) And it took you 3 days to fly there?

A) Yes

Q) What is the most important thing in your life?

A) My life (I said “Yes your life,” assuming he wanted clarification, but his answer was life).

Q) What famous old customs do the Chinese have?

A) Basketball.

Q) How far from here do you live?

A) 34kg

Q) Do you really mean kg?

A) Yes

Q) You sure?

A) Yes really

Q) Have you ever read a book in English?

A) I have a book in English.

Q) What’s it called?

A) The dictionary

Q) What job does your mother do?

A) She’s the boss.

Q) What is she the boss of?

A) The company.

Q) What does the company do?

A) Business.

They may not be the funniest comments in the world, but they kept me amused.